The set and setting ready, my astronaut suit zipped up, let’s see where the space shuttle will take my this time…
This time, I needed more understandings. Going to meet your Monster is not really the most mundane thing one does so I needed AN EXPLANATION to provide me with A GOOD REASON – I do like challenges but still…
So let’s ask the most knowledgeable person about my Life: MYSELF
Journaling on medicine is A MUST for me. This is what brought me the most amazing revelations, always followed by deep transformations. Besides, I realized that this is a really good way to give direction to a journey as much as to integrate the information given.
I started by asking: “Why am I afraid to be bad / a monster ?”
Right away I started thinking about my grandmother … so I thought: “What did I do to my grandmother?”
Then an interesting thought flew by: “A joke.”
I started to laugh as I was asking myself what type of joke could I have done to her. By now, a very childlike energy was all over me as I kept giggling like an 8 years old, remembering me making silly jokes!
- I LOVE JOKES, especially BAD JOKES! – I mean, the ones you do to tease people, to wake them up, attract their attention, puzzle them, distract their senses … I AM A TRICKSTER, no doubts -
So what trick did I do to her? … Whaaat … “I tripped her !!!!”
OOOOoo yeaaah, of course, I always loved tripping people
So I tripped her … but she fell and hurt herself … Hummm … “that’s not so funny anymore!”
Her reaction was to be the turning point of my Life:
“Tu es un petit monstre sans Coeur Sébastien!”
“You are a heartless little monster Sebastien!”
… This is how I got cursed and demonized, believe it or not!
WORDS CAN KILL!
In one sentence, I lost my heart and believed that I was a bad person, a monster.
Yeap, as a kid, you wander life your energetic body wide open. Without an Armor, a Defense mechanism, a reference to Truth, some Convictions, a Self-definition … YOU – ARE – VULNERABLE!!
Words are SOOO POWERFUL when used properly – look at religion, science, marketing or politics … using TRUTH as selling tactics.
I know it can seem too simple or too gentle but as a kid you are still fully immerged in the Spirit, which means that you FEEL INTENTIONS behind words and not just the meaning of the words. It is the intention that is energetically charged and that hurts – INTENTIONS ARE EVERYTHING!
They heal and they kill - The intention gives a DIRECTION to energy and the sincerity of the Desire behind, an INTENSITY – shamans know that very well!
So I guess my grandmother really meant it … MY FAULT, sorry grandma’ !
… I think I’ve learned my mistake by now….
BREAKING DOWN THE MONSTER CODE
So what happened exactly?
Well, I believe I got scared to be a monster which means I began to be SCARED OF MYSELF!
What is a Monster exactly?
For me, a monster is a bad person, someone that does bad thing, someone that hurts people, someone that doesn’t know what Love is or means. Monster are ugly and dangerous. They live in the dark for they are afraid of the light (symbols!!)…
… MONSTERS DON’T HAVE A HEART !!!
Can you imagine, what a Deception it would be to learn one day that you are a Monster, FOR REAL ???
Hummm … THAT’S WHY I AM SO AFRAID OF DECEPTION!!!!
The picture highlighting the post is a painting I made as a kid. One of my favorite.
When I did it, the person I painted was me …