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Anger & My Monster – where the Evil dwells …

Anger & My Monster – where the Evil dwells …

Good & Evil

Tupac got out a picture of his wallet and started explaining me:

“We have the whole universe inside, we wear everything existance has to offer. The monster you met is not YOU but the monster IN you. The whole panorama of full blown emotional realities are alive in us, then we decide what we tap upon, so we all have both Good & Evil inside. On the path to spiritual realities, you have to meet the different parts of yourself existing inside. It just happens that the first step is to meet the Devil in us”

“You have to accept it and make friend with it, for it is part of Creation and of yourself”


So that inner fight, that attacking energy was MAYBE because I wasn’t accepting the Monster in me and he was literally attacking me back!

It’s so pationnating to meet these essences IN REAL TERMS, being depicted throughout the ages by artist, intellectuals… and religion.

It’s good to remember that you are now in the spiritual realm which means you become the spirits you work with. Turning into a beast is not just wearing the picture of it. For to look like one you need to believe you are one, you need TO BE ONE - hard work for me!

When you meet your monster, YOU LITTERALY TRANSFORM YOURSELF INTO IT, end up in a realm of atrocities, are surrounded by other monsters all uglier than each other, start speaking with the voice of you monster - When it doesn’t speak back to you!

It’s mind blowing indeed… and scary!


But what is translated as A MONSTER is also that Animalistic Survival Force that we all have, commonly called the Survival Instinct… and maybe more.

At 3 in the afternoon in the early spring of 1940: it’s WWII. You find yourself hiding with your family in a barn out in the country and haven’t eaten for 5 days, too afraid to go out. Suddenly you hear some noise, maybe steps, getting closer. Looking behind the curtains, you can discern the enemy approaching towards you, there is no doubts… so you order your family to go hide under the rooftop while you wait downstairs for what is coming up, holding fiercly a knife in your hand. The door has barely moved that already you see yourself jumping in the air before you firmly slit with agility the throat of the enemy without a milisecond of hesitation… 


Actually, that experience could be one of the reason why people sometimes come back horrified from a journey, thinking they have just met the Devil – or so it seems.  It is a frightful experience but necessary to accept our Totality. I think it is even more challenging for women for that the picture of Grace and Beauty they might hold of themsleves gets truly shattered! - Besides, the monsters of women are even uglier, goes Tupac joking, for they are more Evil hahaha! (Colombian jokes, sorry …  it’s not true).


We all access and use our Monster differently regarding how we behave in Life. It is the same on the other side, some shamans use it more or less for shamanic works. Tupac says the monster often becomes “louder” and make people sick around their 40s  as they keep rejecting this part of their existance, they start having a lot of guilt, slowly and silently eating them from inside!

As a teenager, I always was scared of fighting against kids and was never good at defending myself. Obviously, I was scared of that dark force inside myself. I do feel a new power in me and I regularly use it these days when these stupid dogs come running after me. I just have to tap into that energy and face them peering through my monster right into theirs….

This is actually a good exercise for someone that wants to know how much he has integrated the survival instinct inside himself. When a dog is growling after you, showing its teeth, observe that look. THAT’S THE BEAST. Try to look back with the same intensity. To the extent you get scared & hesitant is the extent you have accepted that part of yourself. (It’s good to notice that bullied dogs are afraid of that force inside too!)


Yes, Monsters have sex too! But not the one you see in Hollywood Movies… as they tend to dwell underground since they are public-light sensitive - It’s pure FIRE!!

They suffer a lack of cultural recognition and support these days. They make us suffer back by tempting us out of our personal boundaries by subverting the ego’s sexual fantasies. I’ll let you use your imagination what a Raw, Spontaneous, Instinctive and Physical force like to do… and they are HUNGRY!


Instinct… another mask, another way to call our most sacred Fear: DEATH

When you accept the Instinct part of yourself, when you become it, your are making a pact with Death, whether you realize it or not. Instinct do not thrive on options or probabilities but rather provides a sharp view of Reality with a full acceptance of the underlying essence of our Existance.

When Death walks in, Values get ripped away, Perspectives are sharpen, Choices are Obvious. You start living your Truth and following your acts…. YOU ARE ALIVE!!

Instinct is Death Embodiment. When there is no choice but to fight for life, you accept Death inside … so you are ready to see it outside.


I try to always make sur I have a good idea in which dimension I encounter myself. That one took me a little while to pinpoint… (note: The Ayahuasca mostly takes you to Emotional realities.)

Anger, what is it really?

The spirit of Anger is a deep one. Anger is the result of absence of Love. It is Love looking for itself, a force trying to re-establish the proper balance, the expression of a need, the distance between the Love experienced and the Love desired.

But behind the eyes of the angry one shows up something else… DEATH.

Hard to believe?

I see ANGER at the other side of the LOVE spectrum – Like DEATH opposes LIFE – Same thing, different mask. When entering the dimension, I felt and saw the experience of Pure & Raw Anger, the destructive force of it. When you are angry, you act without a heart, Love is absent and it hurts…


There is not much more to say really, it’s just that the REALITY FEEDING THE DEVIL SYMBOL takes its source into an emotion: ANGER. The Devil doesn’t exist as such. It’s just a depiction made upon cultural belief, deeply inherited from the REPRESSION OF ANGRY EMOTIONS.

- For me, the Devilish mask is a symbol projected upon an emotional reality, coming from a value, defined by the Hive authority! -

It’s all symbols and our Humand Mind LOOOVES projecting values onto it. Look at culture, look at religion. You could depict the Human history by looking at the evolution of our values, for they are the real ones driving us all along our Life and making us take decisions. WE ARE OUR VALUES… and I believe the answer to our ABSOLUTE FREEDOM is to go look behind.

- How ANGRY can you BE ? -


Maybe the 21st century should be the time to update our value for we are still running 2000 years old (more?) religious belief of GOOD & EVIL.


We keep sending us to hell for wrong reasons. There is no judgment day for there is no judge BUT OURSELVES.

I offer a new paradigm where ETHOS would be defined by Love and LOVE only. If Love is suppressed, let’s express our Anger instead of calling the Devil for punishment – for WE ARE INNOCENT. 

We could BANISH Good & Evil from our vocabulary. Instead let’s simply describe our experience, like “it’s dangerous, it would hurt my feelings, it makes me angry, it’s painful …”



The good news is that once the Monster is met and accepted (far from behing there yet!), comes the time to meet The Being of Light that lives within us - the other side of the spectrum – that radiant light of Love & Beauty that shines behind the Goodness of our Existance…. LIFE aka LOVE!

On both sides, true healings are happening. For exemple, I realized that since I met my Monster, I feel much more at peace, have more power, more confidence behind my voice and more anchoring in my beingness, ASTOUNDING FOR HAVING MET “DEATH” IN ME!!!!

This stands why is represented the symbol of THE BALANCE in the picture (see above), for one needs the other to keep it alive …


How much Evil would we get if we were all Angels …

… and by the way, don’t we say that “Monsters don’t have a Heart” ?!

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